Hi everybody! I thought I would give you some useful tips on how to spend as much money as possible on vehicles, especially for you lottery winners out there.
1. Buy new: Buy the newest vehicle you can, making sure that you purchase every "upgrade" available. Wipers that turn on when it rains? Oh yeah! Now you can save your self the strenuous task of flicking that switch when the first drops of water hits the window.
NEVER: Buy a good quality used vehicle more then three years old, but less than 12. By then, most of the "hit" in value has occurred, and you'll just end up saving money, which you will then be forced to spend on something useless, like food. You will also pay less for insurance, and then what will happen to the children of your broker? How will he pay for them to attend Harvard? They might have to settle for Brown, and it's all your fault.
2. Insure it against everything: Giraffe attack? It could happen! Solar flares? That could scorch the paint! Always get glass coverage, and hail coverage. Your $65,000 truck needs to be protected against all perils, and the payments will suck that dirty, dirty money from your overflowing bank account.
NEVER: Insure only against liability. That's for suckers. Most places charge a pittance for liability only, and who would want that? After all, we should be...
3. Drive like an @$$hole: Tickets are like showers of secret jealous adoration for your matchless driving ability. You should feel honored to send your $$$ to the coffers of our benevolent benefactors, but make sure you don't ever change your driving habits, it makes you look weak, and you will be eaten by bears.
NEVER: Drive defensively. That $65k truck will basically flatten every vehicle in sight, while you nap in luxury in the driver's seat, texting your other rich friend's butlers. Besides, more tickets, means higher insurance, and your broker can finally buy that swimming pool!
4. Borrow to make your purchase: Even the filthiest of the rich should be borrowing money they don't have. You can always pay it back tomorrow, and tomorrow never comes! You can't lose!
NEVER: Pay cash for a well researched used vehicle. You might accidentally touch something a poor person touched, and then you will have to shave your fingerprints off. Again.
Lastly..
5. Do not fix your own vehicle: Take it to the dealer! He will always charge you the most, and keep your vehicle forever, which means you can just drive your butler's car. Wear gloves though, you don't want to catch poverty from the steering wheel.
NEVER: Learn any basic mechanical skills, like oil changes and changing a tire. Always pay someone to do those things, so you can establish your position amongst the ultra-weathly. Lester McMonneyBaggs tried to do an oil change, and he got DIRT under his fingernails. Imagine his face when he went for his weekly manicure! That could be YOU!
*****So, this is intended to be a humorous how-to for people trying to save money on buying used cars. My family and I have saved thousands by following the NEVER advice above. Just today, unfortunately, my beloved farm truck died on the highway, and had to be towed back home. The head gasket gave out, and coolant (mixed with oil) found it's way to the roadway. After a short, but cold wait, we got towed back. Since I need a truck for the farm, I get to buy another one! I set myself a limit of $2000, and within a few hours I found a good used Chevy for $1700. It's not a luxury vehicle, but I'm not a luxury kind of guy. I don't mind a little rust, it is a farm truck after all. Best of all? The insurance is $380. Per year. The truck that just died lasted me about 6.5 years, and I paid about $4500 for it.
I also plan to keep that old truck, and put a new head gasket on it. It really needs more work than that, but I only want to get it back to running condition, then I will use it around the farm. If the new truck goes kaput, then I will have a back up!
Remember "Two is one, and one is none"
If you have no back up, then when the machine/device/item breaks, you will be out of luck.
Some thoughts from a poor country hick who would like my bank account to be overflowing with money NOT spent on vehicles!
Showing posts with label rich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rich. Show all posts
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Friday, February 17, 2012
How Capitalism can Save the Free World
I am a Capitalist. I provide goods that people want and need, and I make it possible for 6 billion people to exist on this planet.
The whole point of capitalism is "Capital", the real durable good that make production possible. A farmer's tractor, the land he plants, the trees he harvests from, and the animals whose meat he sells. Capital does not fall from the sky, nor does it grow on trees. In order to buy the land, the farmer needed to save a down payment. To buy the tractor, he needed to save more money. The trees cost money, and take time to grow. The farmer plants trees with the hope to someday profit from them, in some cases knowing that his children will be the real beneficiaries of that profit.
All of this "Capital" would not exist if the farmer did not save. He willingly consumes less money now, with the hope that by accumulating these items, he will profit from them more in the future. It's true that the farmer is thinking of himself, but in doing so, he is benefiting all of mankind. If the farmer had no land, he could not plant. If he had land, but no machines, he would have to work with primitive tools, and he could not produce nearly as much food, nor could he transport that food to the people who want to eat it. Trees produce even more food, and feed the soil through their leaves. The farmer has to nuture and feed that tree for many years before he can gain the harvest, while there is always a risk of the tree dying before it becomes productive.
Many people believe that capitalism oppresses people. Walmart underpays it's employees, destroys other business, and is bad for us. They moan about the loss of "mom and pop" stores, which are more of a fantasy that reality. Even large stores usually have a single owner, who may be a "mom and pop" team, or a business team of 2 or more unrelated partners. Smaller stores can, and are very prosperous, judging by the fact that we apparently still have millions of them. Most of the people who have jobs work for an employer with less than 100 employees, which is the definition of a "small business". Only about 20% of the workforce are employed by the "big guys".
Many millions of people are like me, the farmer, working for themselves. Are they contributing less to the world than the Walmarts? More? Or, do all of these people benefit the human race through their work?
My contribution may be smaller than Walmart, but it is real, and measurable. I use the capital that I own to provide something that people want, and they are my bosses. If no one buys my products, I have failed, and I need to do something differently, or find a different group of bosses. I don't get to charge whatever I want, and neither does Walmart. The people who buy the products determine the price, and they also determine what is on the shelf, through their "votes".
If you don't like Walmart, that's a personal choice. Don't "vote" by shopping there, and your conscience will be clean. But maybe I like Walmart, and I want to vote for it. Who will win this battle? How about both of us? You win by shopping where you want, and I win by shopping where I want. We both get what we want, and no one loses. Too bad politics doesn't work that way!
I hear a lot of noise about "reforming capitalism" or "paying our fair share", and I tune it out. Just let me concentrate on producing as much of what people want to buy as I can. Let me keep the profits of my labors, and I will be inspired to produce more. If I produce enough, I could even start hiring people! This is how the system works when nobody interferes.
If you care about humanity, stop trying to "help" the poor by taking from the rich. The rich may have the money, but believe me, they would rather invest it in something useful than shove it in a drawer. That useful investment could give one of those "poor" people a good job, or provide a better tractor for a farmer, or enable a company to create a better TV, cellphone, gadget, all of which makes the lives of the "non-rich" a little bit better.
The whole point of capitalism is "Capital", the real durable good that make production possible. A farmer's tractor, the land he plants, the trees he harvests from, and the animals whose meat he sells. Capital does not fall from the sky, nor does it grow on trees. In order to buy the land, the farmer needed to save a down payment. To buy the tractor, he needed to save more money. The trees cost money, and take time to grow. The farmer plants trees with the hope to someday profit from them, in some cases knowing that his children will be the real beneficiaries of that profit.
All of this "Capital" would not exist if the farmer did not save. He willingly consumes less money now, with the hope that by accumulating these items, he will profit from them more in the future. It's true that the farmer is thinking of himself, but in doing so, he is benefiting all of mankind. If the farmer had no land, he could not plant. If he had land, but no machines, he would have to work with primitive tools, and he could not produce nearly as much food, nor could he transport that food to the people who want to eat it. Trees produce even more food, and feed the soil through their leaves. The farmer has to nuture and feed that tree for many years before he can gain the harvest, while there is always a risk of the tree dying before it becomes productive.
Many people believe that capitalism oppresses people. Walmart underpays it's employees, destroys other business, and is bad for us. They moan about the loss of "mom and pop" stores, which are more of a fantasy that reality. Even large stores usually have a single owner, who may be a "mom and pop" team, or a business team of 2 or more unrelated partners. Smaller stores can, and are very prosperous, judging by the fact that we apparently still have millions of them. Most of the people who have jobs work for an employer with less than 100 employees, which is the definition of a "small business". Only about 20% of the workforce are employed by the "big guys".
Many millions of people are like me, the farmer, working for themselves. Are they contributing less to the world than the Walmarts? More? Or, do all of these people benefit the human race through their work?
My contribution may be smaller than Walmart, but it is real, and measurable. I use the capital that I own to provide something that people want, and they are my bosses. If no one buys my products, I have failed, and I need to do something differently, or find a different group of bosses. I don't get to charge whatever I want, and neither does Walmart. The people who buy the products determine the price, and they also determine what is on the shelf, through their "votes".
If you don't like Walmart, that's a personal choice. Don't "vote" by shopping there, and your conscience will be clean. But maybe I like Walmart, and I want to vote for it. Who will win this battle? How about both of us? You win by shopping where you want, and I win by shopping where I want. We both get what we want, and no one loses. Too bad politics doesn't work that way!
I hear a lot of noise about "reforming capitalism" or "paying our fair share", and I tune it out. Just let me concentrate on producing as much of what people want to buy as I can. Let me keep the profits of my labors, and I will be inspired to produce more. If I produce enough, I could even start hiring people! This is how the system works when nobody interferes.
If you care about humanity, stop trying to "help" the poor by taking from the rich. The rich may have the money, but believe me, they would rather invest it in something useful than shove it in a drawer. That useful investment could give one of those "poor" people a good job, or provide a better tractor for a farmer, or enable a company to create a better TV, cellphone, gadget, all of which makes the lives of the "non-rich" a little bit better.
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